Australia Day

I am sure I do not need to remind any of you that yesterday, 26 January, was Australia Day. It also happens that my Australian officemate's birthday was last week, and I failed properly to mark the occasion. To my great discredit, I didn't buy him a gift, a card, or even a beer. So I thought Australia Day would be a good opportunity to set things right, and therefore as I rifled through my stationery cupboard before work yesterday morning, I was rifling with a purpose: I needed a card that encapsulated the patriotic fervour of the occasion with a subtle twist of the 'happy birthday' about it.

For obvious reasons, I settled on this card, a drawing of a Nepalese tiger. Obvious to me, at least, as it was the only thing I had that wasn't a Christmas card. But I did have the sense to realise that maybe Matt wouldn't appreciate the connection between a Nepalese tiger on the one hand, and his birthday and Australia Day on the other.

I did not know precisely what Australia Day celebrated, but I did know quite a lot about how it is celebrated. I think it's fair to say that what Mothers' Day is to cards, Australia Day is to beer; for although the Aussies, like Americans, like a good barbecue on their national holiday (26 January being summer Down Under), unlike their former colonial cousins, Aussies also like to demonstrate their not inconsiderable drinking skills on this day.

Anyway, I had this card of a Nepalese tiger, and so I wrote something along these lines:

Dear Matt

As you no doubt realise, on 15 January [Matt's birthday] in 1832, Lord Ablemerle, travelling from Nepal, released a pair of Nepalese tigers (pictured on the front of this card) in Victoria for the anticipated sport of hunting them. The tigers, however, did not thrive in the Victorian
climate and migrated instead to Queensland [Matt is a Queenslander], where they multiplied until a remarkable thing happened. On Australia Day 1850, a mild-mannered Queenslander returned from the bog to find a Nepalese tiger drinking his beer. The man was natually outraged, and the story of the tiger spread quickly throughout Queensland, until hunting parties were organised and the Nepalese tiger was completely eradicated from that part of the world.

In consequence of these two dates, it struck me that no card or day could be more appropriate than this card and today to wish you a happy birthday and a happy Australia Day.

Many happy returns

Sam

It did not take Matt long to work out that there never was a Nepalese tiger in Queensland.

Now, in the course of yesterday, I attempted to learn, by asking Australians, what Australia Day commemorates. I had initially mistaken Australia Day for Federation Day, when Queen Victoria (pictured left) in 1901 ratified an Act of the UK Parliament which granted Australia the right to federate (the act has not yet been repealed). Clearly, Australia Day does not celebrate the more recent Australia Act 1986, the British Act which finally gave Australia judicial independence from the Privy Council in Westminster. And as the Queen is still the head of state in Australia, there is no question of Australia Day celebrating the birth of a republic.

One Australian suggested that Australia Day was the day in 1770 when Captain Cook (pictured right) sailed into Botany Bay. As it happens, and as I'm sure you knew already, Australia Day was the day in 1788 when the First Fleet (pictured below) sailed into Sydney Cove to settle New South Wales (today known as New South Wales).

Sadly, our Australia Day celebrations were marred by Matt being required to work late and by the rest of us being unable to get into any of London's many heaving Australian bars, and so the evening's festivities were spent in English pubs, and a bar called Jack's in Southwark. And although the evening was eventful, I will stop here and simply say 'The end'.